What If?

I actually hate this question. You can go round and round in circles, but you'll never know the answer to "What If?" All you'll know is where you're at.

In March of 2004 I was diagnosed as having Type 2 diabetes. I was flat out told by my family doctor "you did it to yourself. Look at you. Look at how heavy you are."

I've never been able to get my sugars under control with medication. I've had side effects and maxed out the safe limits for these pills

Two years previously, I was diagnosed as having gastroparesis. You can find out more about that by reading the article and watching the video at Web MD.

At this point in my life, I usually eat two meals a day, and a small snack. Foods have to be soft, or I cannot digest them. Right now it's soup and a sandwich for lunch, some kind of ground meat at supper with vegetables.  Snacks can be anything fruit cups, which is just baby food for adults, maybe some beans (without pork or meat to avoid fat), peanut butter & crackers, hard boiled eggs or cottage cheese. 

Most days I eat less than 1500 calories a day. Anything more than that, and I vurp like crazy. This has been going on for years. 

I cannot take the medication they prescribe for gastroparesis as it makes food pass through my system undigested. Because of this reaction, and other tests I've had since, I'm not convinced that I have gastroparesis, but it is still listed in my medcal file, and used as the reason why I have so many problems eating.

Over a year before the gastroparesis diagnosis, I started getting recurring infections in my leg. Cellulitis is a bacterial infection, and for me it attacks the skin in my left leg. Cellulitis has nothing to do with cellulite, that cottage cheesey type of fat that people go on and on about. The Mayo Clinic has good information about cellulitis. You can read it here.

The first infection was in my right left, and every one since has been in the same spot on my left leg. We estimate at this point that I have had cellulitis infections at least 3 to 4 times a year beginning in 2000. We're getting close to 60 times now. Eventually, this will cost me my left leg. 

After I was diagnosed as being a diabetic, I was told that these two problems, high blood pressure and and a few other problems I've had that I'll go into another time, were all a result of being diabetic. This despite the fact that I had been tested for diabetes repeatedly during this same time and never showed up as having high blood sugars until 6 months before I was diagnosed and treated for diabetes. More on that another time too.

But what if, instead of insisting that I did all this to myself, a doctor, an endocrinologist or any of the other multitude of specialist I was sent too tested my for something other than diabetes? What if they had looked at other problems that can make people gain weight, be more prone to infections like cellulitis, and have digestive issues, nerve damage and other issues that are radically affecting my life.

What if, years and years ago, someone had listened to what I had to say, and not gotten their professional nose out of joint because I asked them questions.

I'm so glad that I have a family doctor now who does listen, supports me, but also tells me when she thinks I'm wrong about something. I really respect that.

But is is too late?